The #MomBoss Struggle with Ashley Malfitano

But most streets lately I'm really coming to terms with, hey, I am. It is OK to be building something outside of the home. In doing that and it's okay to be a mom because that's who you are. There's no changing that. That's who you are. You are a mom, but you are a boss, babe. I mean, like, you are building this, you know? I mean, an empire. Am I going to feel guilty for saying that?

 

Hey, friends, and welcome to the Girl Means Business podcast.

 

I'm your host, Kendra Swarns, a photographer and educator on a mission to help you find your passion, power and purpose through entrepreneurship. So let's jump right into today's episode, because this girl means business. Hey there and welcome back to the Girl Means Business podcast. I'm so excited that you are here this week because we are launching into our new series, this one I'm calling the Mom Bus series, all because it's going to be about what it means.

 

You're right on cue.

 

There is a little island screaming at me from the hallway. This series is all about what it means to be building a business of raising babies, even if your babies aren't so much babies anymore. I'm going to be chatting with parenting experts and other mom bosses who understand the struggle of trying to balance building a business while raising a family. Today, I'm chatting with my friend Ashley Moffatt tarnow, who she and I met at a local mom's event and immediately headed off.

 

And we've been talking about doing this interview for a while and now we're finally bringing it to you. Ashley is not only raising three daughters, but she is running for businesses because that's insane. And she does it all so well. So I'm super excited to chat with her today and have her share all of her tips with us in this episode. All right, guys. So let's go ahead and get to it. Hey, guys, really quick, before we jump into my interview with Ashley today, I want to tell you about a really cool new feature that my favorite client management system Honey book has just introduced.

 

In fact, I got early access to this and it is a game changer. So Honey Book now offers scheduling tools. This means that you no longer have to go back and forth to your clients forever or use an outside program such as acuity or calendar or any of those other apps. It's all included with honey book because this is such a cool new tool, because not only does allow me to schedule clients for my photography business, but I have two different brands set up within my honeybunny account.

 

So I don't have to have two separate accounts of one for my photography and one for growth means business. They're both in my honey book account and I can toggle back and forth between both. This means I can have a separate scheduling tool for my photography clients so they can see my available dates for sessions and then I can have another link for my podcast guests when I'm scheduling people to come on an interview for the podcast. This is such a game changer for my business because I was having to use third party apps, connect them to different calendars.

 

I always knew what was scheduled and when. And now it is seamlessly integrated into honey.. book, along with all of their other incredibly amazing features. I know you've heard me talk about how you began here before, but guys, if you are looking for a client management program for your business, this is the one you need. And as a girl means business listener, of course, you always get half off your first year with honey book. So just go to Bentley Forge last GMB honey book.

 

That's Bee EITI, DOT l.y Forge slash GMB honey book and save 50 percent off your first year. Of course, that link is always down there in the show notes. So all you have to do is click it and you will get your savings. They also have a free trial so you can check it out for 14 days before you ever invest in anything. And as always, if you ever have questions, guys, I'm more than happy to share with you my behind the scenes of how I use honey book.

 

I'll even let you go into a little video tour about how I use honey book to set up client information and details, send out inquiries, send out invoices and questionnaires and contracts and all the things. Now, even my scheduling tool. It's so cool. Guys, you're gonna love it. All right. Don't forget to head to the show notes or go to Bentley Forge slash GNB handbook and get your 50 percent off today. All right, guys, let's get to today's interview.

 

All right, guys, let's welcome Ashley to the Grow Means Business podcast. Thank you so much for being here today. How are you? Good. Thank you so much for having me. So actually, we talked a little bit as an intro, but we met actually at a mom's event here in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. And I just I love meeting people and talking about things. I felt like we kind of had an instant connection. And I'm excited to chat with you a bit more today.

 

So I want to jump in and talk a little bit about sort of what you do, how you got into what you do now and your journey. Well, thank you for having me today. And I'll just kind of start at the beginning because it'll explain like later on my journey. I'm one of those rare people that at 16 knew what I wanted to do in life. And that was I wanted to go into merchandising. I could see the science behind it and consumerism.

 

And so that's exactly what I did. Which college got my degree in merchandising and business? And then. But at the same time, my mom was building her business. She was one of the original top 100 sellers on eBay and then eventually was one of the original sellers on Amazon, which seems so crazy. I mean, we remember a day when there was no Amazon around. And now then, how can we not live without Amazon? How is it like mom?

 

How did you live life as a mother without Amazon? Next, a delivery. But anyways, my mom was building this business. And so when I left college, I was like, Mom, we should open and we should expand. The next thing in your business, you've been online now for over five years. I should be a retail store and I would be a great flow for the business. And just a case. So that was my project.

 

I left college. I opened our first retail store and we're located in Plano, Texas. And so I'm Amy. It's called the Uber Shop. So that's a dead post college. And it was great and it was fine. But then I decided, you know, when I went to go into corporate America and use a little bit more of my degree and a little more in a different way. And so I went to work for two large retailers, which I had this mentality that school is great, but you get the most experience and the most knowledge.

 

Hands on am a very hands on person. And so working in two different large retailers, I was able to network but also get hands on experience and real world experiences in ways I would never have gotten by working with my mom as an entrepreneur. So I worked with Academy Sports Outdoors. I helped build their e-commerce website and then I went to J.C. Penney's and they worked on their e-commerce team and then it was in their buying office. And so I was in there buying office.

 

When I got pregnant with my first daughter and I knew at the time I didn't want to stay in that corporate environment. And my mom and dad always had this conversation of like, hey, come back, help us continue building the business. When you start building a family. And so the opportunity came. And so when I had my first daughter seven years ago, I left corporate America and joined my mom again. I'd always like work part time where, you know, worked with her part time on the weekends and at night when I could.

 

I always handled them all the marketing and everything for our business. And I was that night. But now then I was like an a full time partnership type capacity. And so we really became partners to grow our business to the next level. And so over the past seven years, we've added Wal-Mart now to our portfolio. And then we started a new business venture, which is called Kinzie REI. And that is a handbag line that we develop and produce.

 

And then most recently, I really wanted to tap into the. ding's, the voice that was inside of me that was really wanting to connect with other mom entreprenuers because at this point now in twenty nineteen, whenever I launched these new projects and they'll talk about I was a mom of three young girls trying to juggle, you know, business, being a business owner and all these different things. And I was like. And I kind of felt alone because I have great friends.

 

But it's out of my like immediate friends. I do day to day life with them. Only one is a business owner and like, oh, man, do we talk about so much. But I wanted to be connected with other women that related with me on the struggles I have of, you know, finding those healthy boundaries between my business and my kids and being able to be present and fully engaged in both worlds. And so I launched the Mompreneurs Try podcast in connection with the Mompreneurs Boutique.

 

And so the Mompreneurs Boutique we launched last April and it is an online boutique that sells products made by mom entrepreneurs. And so I mean, being able to tell their stories of their products because, you know, marketing nowadays is became so relational and there's so many great products out there by mom entrepreneurs that have such, you know, amazing stories behind them. And that's why we did the moderator to try podcasts as a way to tell those stories and have those women on it to talk about what's it like doing life, building a business in developing a product and being a mom.

 

And how do you do that? And was it truly like because Instagram and Facebook can give us one view of how that's going for them. But if you actually sat down and you talked to them on a podcast, you'll hear a whole new perspective of it. And so I'll just say it. So we tell a story on the Mompreneurs Tribe podcast and we talk about, you know, just what is it truly like being a mom and an entrepreneur authentically in vulnerably and having those conversations?

 

So that's a little bit of what I do. Sorry, it was a lot. I mean, truthfully, at the end of the day, if you want to click on my link, dad, I mean, it truly says that we're running at this point four separate stories. We have our marketplace business. We sell an Amazon, Walmart, eBay. Then we have the retail store. We have the Kinzie REI handbag line. And then now we have them unpretty our tribe pikas in the boutique.

 

So that's I mean, that's where it is like a really couldn't sell that. I mean, there's so much emotion is so much history to it. So that's why it takes me a little time to tell a story. So you you're raising three girls. How old are your children? They are seven for in two.

 

So we've got about. So I only have two, but they're seven and three. So we're about the same same age range there. It's a lot. It's so. And I think I had this conversation with somebody recently where we're talking about the, you know, the idea of the term mom, boss or boss, mom or you. You know, you want to phrase it. And that there's so many people who find that that's like there's negative connotation that I'm like, no, I I am proud of that term because to me that says, yeah, you have these four companies that you are essentially running and you're in charge of it.

 

That's amazing. But then to add in the fact that you're also raising three children, three young children, and on top of that, three young girls who are going to grow up watching their mom do all these amazing things. That, to me, gives you even more power and even more greatness. So, yeah, I want the mom part of that boss title because to me, that's it says so much more about what we do than other than just run a business.

 

No, absolutely. When I was in corporate America, I've always had this like and it's nothing that people would know. Outwardly, it's something I feel inwardly. Weirdly, I always had this like very aggressive. I was very push myself very hard and my corporate career, I always wanted to be working towards. The next thing you know, I had very clear expectations with all my directors and higher ups. You know what? What do I need to do to be able to keep working in developing myself to be that next person?

 

And so I've always been that kind of that mentality. And so when I became a mom, I had this huge shift in mentally, it's kind of done a rollercoaster for me because I'm like, how do I find that that balance between motherhood and being a business owner? It was a whole different mindset. And so I really sometimes I'm like, oh, this so great. And sometimes I struggle with it. But most stringently, I'm really coming to terms with, hey, I am it is okay to be building something outside of the home and doing that.

 

And it's okay to be a mom because that's who you are. There's no changing that. That's who you are. You are a mom, but you are a boss, babe. I mean, like you are building this, you know? I mean, an empire. Am I going to feel guilty for saying that? I mean, it is empire. We run for different businesses. I hard's hard time saying that until the end of last year when I mean, I sat down with our my mom and with her business coach and our count Arrabyee and we liked each other.

 

And they're like we're like we're running four separate businesses. We have to, like, give ourselves some credit for what we're doing. We always try to marginalize what we're doing. And I think that a lot of women do that. We marginalize what we're doing because it almost feels boastful. But that's not the truth. The truth of matter is, is that we are going for big, great things while being moms. So why not let those worlds collide and have, you know, be able to say authentically and honestly, hey, I am a mom boss.

 

I mean, I am I I'm a mom and I'm rocking it there. But I'm also I'm rocking in a business. And let's celebrate those two worlds colliding. So I love that so much. And I love there's so many things. And what you just said that I I'm just like over here going like, yes, men like preacher, because there's so much good stuff. And I think the biggest thing is like our initial when you mention like you did want to say empire, but you're building an empire, but because it feels awkward and uncomfortable sense.

 

But that is exactly what you're building. And I think we need to, as women, get past the idea that we need to apologize for something and that we need to minimize what we're doing. You know, and I think this came from one of racial horsies books that I read. I don't remember which one it was, but it was the idea. It was probably gross up apologizing because it fits right in with that whole concept. And this idea that she wrote about, like I was in tears reading it because I've done it so many times in my life.

 

But it's the fact that as women, we tend to minimize ourselves in order to make other people more comfortable with what we're doing. And when I like, I literally was sitting in bed, I can reveal exactly where I was and what was going on. My husband was out of town and I would make kids room beds. I was like, I can't take this opportunity, like, sit in bed and read an actual physical paper book, which I don't need to do very often.

 

And I was reading through this this chapter and it was like I felt like she was in my face talking to me. And I'm in really tears rolling down my cheeks. I was like, I've been doing this my entire life. I have been playing it small. I had been scaling myself back. I have been holding myself back from saying things and doing things in order to make other people more comfortable with the big goals and dreams that I have for my life.

 

And we've got to as women, stop doing that so much because we're capable of doing such incredible things. And there's no reason why we shouldn't be able to say, I want to build an empire. I want to build a business that lasts beyond what I'm doing right now. And I want to make a lot of money doing it. And I want to have impact doing it. And I want my kids to watch me do this. They feel like they can do the same thing.

 

Whatever their dream is. And once we get past the idea that that's something negative to say, there's so much power behind that. So, yeah, like there's nothing wrong with what you and you and what you're doing and what you and your mom have done and have built is worthy of celebration. And you need to celebrate it because we don't do that enough. I think as women and as business owners, we're always looking like the next thing. So you need to celebrate what y'all have accomplished because it's incredible.

 

Well, thank you. And I think it's, you know. I think there's so much you said something just now, you're like, oh, you know, if I'm building the empire, then naturally it means you're making money, right? In a lot of people think you're just doing it for the money. And it's like, no, that is the big perk about it all, is that, yeah, maybe we are making money. But here's the thing I know and you probably know this about your business is that we're very intentional people.

 

My mom and I. And so we know what we're going to do. And I do love Rachel Hollis. I love that book, too. I cried so many times. I can vividly remember I listened to it on Audible and I rember driving my kids to summer camp when that book came out. And listening to it. And I was in the middle of nowhere and I was just like sobbing. And I'm like, this is speaking to my soul.

 

But I've also heard her say on stage before, and it really resonated to me cause she's like, I'm not going to be afraid to say this right now. She goes, I want to make and I think it was like a hundred million dollars. She's like, I want to make $100 million. But here's the thing about me. I know intentionally exactly how I'm going to spend that and how I'm going to give back to my world, in my community and what I'm trying to do intentionally through my business.

 

And so I think that's the whole component that. You know, needs to also be brought out is that, you know, I. Hey. Yeah, we are trying to build something big, but we're doing it intentionally and we give back to our community. And I mean that so many are our store customers can tell you that, too, because they know it. We use we tell some people this our retail store or retail store has been always a way that we give back to our community.

 

It's how we serve our community through so many different charities. We're able to do that. And you shouldn't be ashamed at that. The world needs more of that. At least I know if I may. I mean, if I was a great Warhols, hopefully, I mean, I would love to make 100 million one day, but I know intentionally. I know exactly. I know who I'd be writing over a million dollar check to right now today if I had a hundred million dollars.

 

And I would personally drive and handle hand-delivering and be like, please go do your expansion. That I know you so great. You were working so hard for right now. And you're praying for I mean, like that's an intentional living. That's why I want to build an empire is because I can make impact right there, but also because I know the impact I'm directly making in my own kids lives. So I've already seen that with my oldest, who's seven habits that she picked up on me and that she's already starting to do.

 

And it's not something I've ever asked her to do. I've never instructed her on. She just sees it from the behavior that I've modeled for her. So I think there's just so much impact. Fulness of being a mob boss. Well, and I. And maybe we were at the same where you at the rise Dallas for the Rachel Hollis event. Is that the one where you guys were you there? Oh, my gosh. I swear, like, we just connect.

 

We have this weird. I mean, it's not weird. Just like a great little vibe because we've only talked several times. But every time we talk, it's like instant connection. I just I love people like that. It just seems so much coming from this friendship. They know me too well. It's almost like we've been on this parallel journey and it's it's finally time for our paths to cross. I feel like we've been kind of doing the same thing around the same amount of time because our girls are about the same age and we've been kind of going to the same things and on the same path.

 

And now our paths are slowly starting to merge, which is amazing. This is one of the reasons I loved doing this podcast and helping and getting to chat with other women because these are relationships and friendships. I would never have made if I had not started doing this. And that's, you know, your timing like the intentional part of it. And for me, that's a big part of it is kind of selfishly within my business. I love conversations with other women.

 

And getting to do this as a job is just incredible and it's beneficial in both ways. But the connections and the the things that come out of it are the best part for me. It's it's absolutely my most favorite part.

 

Yes, I agree 100 percent everything you just said and like, oh, I got all the warm fuzzies all over it. So there's two things I kind of wanna talk about here. And and I know like I sent you some questions at the time. We're going to go a little off the script here, but I want to talk really quickly about just the mom part of business. And then I want to dive into the retail part in a minute.

 

But you we talked to you mentioned earlier that, you know, your your kids are watching what you're doing. And another thing that Rachel Hollis talked about at her Rise Dallas event. I'm sure other guys events, too, that really struck me. And I want to I want to say it was when she had a panel of other women on stage with her. And one of the questions that she kind of asked them and then she mentioned it to was just the fact that, like, you know, raising children, like, what example are you giving for your kids?

 

And I remember, again, this is all these moments or I'm crying, but I'm here sitting in my seat and just kind of tearing up because there is this idea of like this mom guilt. Okay. Well, yes, I'm running a business and I'm have a little one at home and I've got one that's off at school every day. And there's so many times I find myself like closing the office door to recorded a podcast interview. All my three year old is in the other room, you know, on the iPad or watching a movie or playing in the playroom quietly.

 

And I'm like, I'm I'm not spending time with her. But then I have these little moments, like you said, you know, that the habits that your oldest one is picking up on where my oldest daughter does the same thing, like she'll make some comment about the fact that she's like, I want to do X, Y, Z when I grow up. And it's something that is not a typical job. It's something, you know, it might be something random.

 

And just the idea that she is watching, both of them are watching me sort of chase this dream that I have. And yeah, the laundry's not always done. And the kitchen might be a mess. And there's toys everywhere. But that's OK because I'm doing something I love and setting an example for them. So my question for you is what's I guess a two part question. One is, what has been your biggest struggle with that as far as having three young ones doing what you do?

 

Obviously, you have four businesses you're trying to juggle, which is twice what I'm trying to do. So I am sure it's a lot. And on the flip side, what's been the biggest thing to come out of that for you? So repeat the first one, because I was repeated exactly. OK. So what is then like the biggest struggle you've had with the whole being a mom and running these businesses? OK. Yeah. That's where I was going.

 

I was making sure my train of thought was going know mom brain. You can easily go like a squirrel. Oh, no. And that's where I was going. I mean, I'm a fully honestly admit this is like I do go to therapy. I find great health, great benefits and mental health. And it helps me process things as mom. So I just want to put that out there. I think it's a great, healthy thing. And know there's people that might listen to this, that might know me.

 

And they're like, oh, my gosh. Going to therapy. The world must be ending. No, actually, it's a great, healthy thing. And so I. Only a bad habit of mine is that I don't give myself enough grace, especially in certain seasons of life. And so. Why is that a little while ago? As I have always pushed myself to the limit in my corporate career, I've always done that. And I threw out motherhood.

 

And in my business, I've done that same habit. And sometimes it's okay to do that. But sometimes I learn that, you know what, I need to show up a lot more presently as a mother and I need to take the foot off the throttle in my business. And that's a hard pill for me to swallow of. Maybe you have to be happy with just hitting. You know, just a couple of these milestones that you can't conquer the world right now.

 

They are enough to appreciate the journey and you'll get there. But it's not like it was when I was, you know, single or early married without kids. Is that, you know, this is a different stage in life in especially with young kids. It's a very tiring, very busy stage of life. And we my husband, I joke that 20, 19 at our house got loud because our youngest started talking. She also started walking into now that we have three girls and girls like to talk in their voices in so many different octaves, but then they also like to run.

 

And Russell and he got loud and that can be overwhelming pink. And so just appreciating. And so I really talk this through yesterday. A man is in therapy is just like Hayek, a call loud and. And she's like, just indentify that. That's the season of life. And that's OK. It's OK to identify that and. There will be a new season that comes along, but set realistic goals for yourself and what you can achieve and go for it.

 

And what I think when I do that and I reach levels, set my expectations and my goals of wereally, what is achievable? It makes me appreciate the journey a lot more. But also I can pour into my kids a lot more because I'm not interested in this weird negative headspace. Like I'm not doing enough at work. I'm not accomplishing these goals, which if I haven't in that headspace there, I'm gonna come home and be like, Oh, well, here, here's this.

 

And you know, I'm going to be frazzled on both fronts. And so to me, it's just re levelling my expectations for this season of life. It doesn't mean I'm not going to accomplish something. It just may not look like what I did in a previous season of life. And that's OK. And that was a big learning curve for me. But it's allowed me now that I'm starting to reset those expectations to show up as a better mom, as a better boss, because I'm not over, you know, stretching us way too thin.

 

And then I'm not being able to shop and do my part at work on just all fronts allows me to shop better. Yeah. No, I love that because I'm in that same thing. And first of all, I think that the stigma around therapy is ridiculous because I am a big, huge fan of therapy. I think that it's not just for people who need help. It's is going to the doctor to get a checkup. We don't always go the doctor because we're sick.

 

We go because we want to make sure everything is the way it's supposed to be. And you're getting like a little tune-up. And that's my opinion. That's kind of how therapy is to like it's up. It can be a preventative measure. And I love that you're doing that. The other thing is I think you just everything you said about the seasons of life, like I completely like speaks to my soul because I get very discouraged about things in my head.

 

Like I allow myself to get frustrated because I do like and you've got to wonder that are not school age. But my 3 year old, the tombola time, like it's hard because I'm like, I have all these big dreams and these goals, these things I want to accomplish. And if I just had the time, if I could just have eight hours a day of dedicated work time instead of an hour here and 30 minutes there and fifteen minutes here, like all the things I could accomplish.

 

You know, all these thoughts in my head. But then I look at and I go, you know what? In a year and a half, she's gonna start kindergarten and I'm going to be so distraught when she's gone because I'm not going to have those moments of snuggling on the couch and watching cartoons in the morning. And I'm not going to have somebody to run errands with me. And I'm going to start crying now already. You know, I want to appreciate this season I'm in and just being able to recognize it and go enjoy this.

 

And, you know, people say as the kids all the time, not just with moms running a business, but it goes by so fast. Enjoy it. And it's so true because. Yeah. Because, you know, in a year and a half, she's gonna be at school every single day. And I'm not going to have that time of just me and her, because every time she's off, a school sister will be here, too.

 

And so I've got to be okay with saying, you know what? In a year and a half, I can wrap this thing up like crazy, but for the next 18 months, I'm going to enjoy every moment I can with her and I'm gonna do the best I can in my business to keep it stable and slowly growing it until then. And that's okay for right now. It's such a huge thing for people to realize no matter where, at what stage or and just enjoy the stage or end, because when it's gone, you're gonna miss it at some point.

 

Yes. Because I wish I had an embrace that, you know, seven years ago, whenever I had my first daughter, I was, you know, and it was a lot younger than a lot more immature.

 

He would grow wise there. But it's like, oh, I didn't appreciate it as much. Now, my husband even jokes with me is like, oh, you're such a different mother with a third one. And I'm like, I'm older and wiser. I've reset my expectations. Also, I always joke. I said, the other two, when they were this age, I was either pregnant or had like a newborn at home, like it was just as I was at very different stages as a mom.

 

And I said, you know, it just. I've learned that to embrace this season of life. And it's I'm finding a lot more enjoying fulfillment out of it. And that's been a big thing. My husband and I have these big, you know, through the illogical brainstorming, discussing life. And our big one that just we keep talking over and over about is success over fulfillment in what is it? Are you just chasing success or are you chasing fulfillment in what's the difference?

 

And so that's kind of where we're at on that. It's like, okay, what are we doing to get fulfilled out of life and creating this healthy boundaries and be okay with. Grow my business to be able to be fulfilled in all aspects of life. I love it. Success versus film editor. I'm writing it down now because that's so true. I think that there's so many people out there who are chasing things for the success of it and their quality of life suffers because of it.

 

I mean, how many times how many people do you know in your life that are working so hard in this job? That's going to give them all this money and all this success and clout and all the things. And yet they aren't home to test their kids in bed at night and they don't get to take a vacation every year because they're too busy chasing success and climbing the corporate ladder or whatever it might be. And so, you know, and that was when the big things when I left my teaching job and not that it's this high powered corporate job or anything, but I had a really stable, comfortable job and everything was great.

 

And from the outside looking in, it was successful. I had accomplished what I wanted to accomplish in my career. And I was on a great path. But I wasn't fulfilled. I wasn't I was successful. I wasn't fulfilled. And I think that's a really great way to put it. And my quality of life has changed dramatically since I left that job. And I think that that's something that's a definite. Thing to separate is that, you know, success versus fulfillment.

 

I love the way you ordered that. That's so smart things. I was challenged my husband constantly. He's really great about, you know, really finding the joy in life and not letting getting, you know, bogged down by like, I got to achieve this. And he really enjoys life for the filming of it, while I, on the other hand, have really struggled through all of life of chasing success. And I've done it. You know, I didn't lie in corporate America and different, you know, just all aspects.

 

I can go even go back in college and give, you know, examples of how I gave up things on my college experience just to do something to be successful. And they didn't fulfill me. Well, now then, you know, I regret not doing other things because I was chasing some sort of success and it was college and link. Truthfully, it was a part time job. Like, why were you doing that? In this past November, I was at a seminar and I was listening to a speaker.

 

He has a great book out. His name's Josh Tolley. He's now our business coach. And he said something to me and it was pretty profound in a lot. And I realized that a lot of mom producers don't talk about it. And he is like, okay, I want you to make an ABC list. And I was like, okay, where is this going? And he said, here where he's at right in the A column. Everything in your life.

 

Everything in your life. And he is like anything has meaning all of your life. I was like, okay. And so then in the B column, reorder that. Like, what's the most important to the least important in your life? And this is like now draw a line where you would die for stuff on that list. And I was like, okay. So then he goes, now, then just start living your life for everything above the line.

 

And so then he he used the C column. He is like, so now then, if you're building your business, how much time do you. It's all right on the second. How much time do you want to give each of those things? That's above the line every day. How much time? So now then you're like, if I want to give my husband an hour every day, I want to spend an an hour with God every day in prayer.

 

I want to spend, you know, an hour with my kids. I want to go to the gym and work out. Well, there's four hours out of your day. So now then you've got like five or six hours left to, like, build a business. And, you know, also it's like he also put on there, you know. How much does it take for your. You know, there's other things, you know, like if you want to give monetarily charity wise and what's it what type of living do you want to live?

 

So then you actually have an idea of how much money it takes for you to live. And so then you build your business based on, well, this is the lifestyle I want to live. These are the people I want to serve. See, you build a business based around that model of my prices. My business model has to sustain to be able to support the lifestyle that I want to live. And that includes the amount of time you want to give to each person.

 

And I thought that was really great. I was like, okay, there's only 24 hours in the day. Like, let's stop saying, oh, I wish I had another 24 hours a day was 48 hours. That sounds miserable to me. Let's structure our day to be the most enjoyable and build our businesses to work for us. And so that we can give our families the time that we really, truly do want to get them and reach a level set our priorities, which is hard.

 

I mean, my mom and I were two there together and we looked at each other like, oh, my gosh, like, do you know? I know we spent like some days to help my mom, especially because she doesn't have young kids. You know, that's the tradeoff is the. And this is the life she's picking up a lot of the workload in some areas. And just like I work 12 hour days and he is at Galba.

 

Would you rather be doing just like I'd rather serve Meals on Wheels? I want to do that. Like, that's what I want to do. I can't even do it one day a week. And it was like, OK, then let's restructure this and figure out a way that you can do something, go serve Meals on Wheels and live that life. And so I really challenged the way I thought of like, I'm not going to live for this business.

 

This business. I went to a format where I. Yes. It does have great purpose. It does. You know, I'm my podcast. It does give a platform to other women to tell their stories and give them a voice. The edit also at the end of the day, like, I have a husband, I have children. And I mean, that's who I want to do life with. Yeah. So I think that's this. I mean, I love that activity that you do.

 

I think that's incredible. Putting things in perspective. That's the thing is I think it's easy to lose perspective sometimes about those things. And when you really like quantify it and you look at the time, you're devoting different to different things and again, goes back to the quality of life, like what are you doing? What you want to be doing? Are you working to live or are you living to work? You know, and I think there's too many people who get caught up in the day to day sort of routines and schedules and demands and all these things that we forget to look at it from a perspective of what's really important right now.

 

And so I love that. I think that's such a profound thing he did. And obviously it's had an impact on you, on your business, which is incredible. So I want to jump a little bit into your retail businesses and and your podcast and kind of what it is that you do on from the business side. So let's start with your podcasts. The Mompreneurs Tribe podcast. And then going into like the boutique that you started. So walk me through, you kind of briefly talked about how that started, but walk me through like the idea behind it.

 

Why did you want to focus on mompreneurs and what is sort of your overall, like mission? Jon, you have with that business. So with the Mompreneurs boutique, I really just I have a heart for other mom entrepreneurs. I mean, it's because we're all like and I can relate to them. And I kept going to markets and seeing new products. Bye bye, mom. Entreprenuers. I don't know. It just was that season. That year I came off market and I kept seeing a lot of them.

 

And there's just such a passion. I mean, these women were I mean, truthfully, they were sacrificing something. They were sacrificing time at home with their babies because they also believed in this product. And I was like, that's powerful and it's brave. I mean, to get out there and to start a business in, you know, get a product and there's a lot of time and money. And so I was like, wow, I really would love to create a business that focused around that.

 

I mean, my background's retail. I know a lot about, you know, what it's like to own a retail store in boutiques. And so. I was like, how do we develop something that's kind of like a boutique? That's a lot more relational. I mean, these products have a story behind them that needs to be told about the development, the time that went into it. And so that was the that's how we launched the Mompreneurs Boutique and we did that last in April of twenty nineteen.

 

And it was so great.

 

We had a blog to tell the stories, but I've realized is that was like I needed to give a bigger voice to those brands and those people that developed the products and that we're carrying on the website because you can actually get someone on a podcast and using their voice and their actual voice versus just like on social media using a quote or doing a blog. It's a lot more powerful when you hear from someone actually saying it themselves. And so that didn't come to me until later on this past summer.

 

I was I did a podcast interview for a marketing company that does marketing for us. And so I was just chatting with them. And I always enjoyed a lot of insight they have. And so when I got done with the podcast interview, I was like, thank you so much. This was an item on my bucket list. I've always wanted to talk on a podcast. I listened to him all day. I just think they're the coolest thing.

 

And they looked at me and they're like, Ashley, why don't you go start a podcast? And I was like, I don't know. They're like, you got content? And I'm like, do I? They're like, yeah, what about a voice for your customer? You know, your brands. And unless I kill you, right. And I could interview them and they're like, yeah, as like I wouldn't even know how to do a podcast.

 

And like, you know, Mark Mark freeto downstairs go to freeto productions, which was literally right down in the office below from where we were recording their podcast.

 

And he was like he produces a he would do something. And so it was just like it was fate because I was like, I set up this meeting and then the meeting went extremely well, even when I was like still trying to figure out that's really the next step I wanted to do in the business. And really, when did his take on that project? Because it's I mean, it is a big undertaking to take on a broadcast. You know, this there's a lot of work into it.

 

And so I went and just things just start clicking like this is where I was meant to be. This is what was meant to happen, to tell these stories and to create this platform for people. And so that was just kind of that's the thing is so now than podcast. We use it to tell those stories a moment producers and talk about, you know, the things that moms are going through. You know, the mindset games that you know, the mind games your mind can do to you and the power of mindset and what they can do in your business than just having those authentic conversations.

 

Because I don't think they're happening enough out there. So you're just creating that content. So our boutique looks different than other boutiques out there. I mean, we do sell apparel that you would find in other boutique, you know, apparel that, you know, the mom would wear. I feel like the mom being, you know, the kind of the same demographic that I'm in bed. So we just use it as a way to create content to serve her.

 

And I think that's a big thing in marketing today, is that, you know, you can I can tell you the products to wear and everything, but it's more than that. I want to be able to carry, you know, a voice that speaks to you. So I don't know. I love that.

 

I love what you're doing. And I think it's so true like you. And this is why I think podcasts are so popular is because story is so pop. I mean, story is this holy. I read Building a story brand with Donna Miller, which is incredible. And then I've also read one that was like the the secret storyteller's secret and so many other things I've listened to that talk about the power of story and just what happens in our brains and the science behind it.

 

It's crazy. And I think that that's the the thing that people are drawn to is the voice and the story behind somebody is business or are their life or whatever it is that they're working on and being able to give a platform where women can share their story. Like you said, it's so much more powerful than just writing an about me page on your website. It's it brings people in. It connects you to them and makes you feel like I'm not alone in this.

 

And I think that that's such an incredible thing. And that's you know what? I think you and I both kind of have that passion for helping women sort of get their their voice out there. And, you know, one of my goals with this podcast and I'm sure the same thing you kind of mentioned yours is that I want women to listen to this. And I want them to go listen to yours as well. And I want them to feel like I'm not on this island by myself doing this.

 

I'm not just me isolated. There's a whole tribe of other women out there. And even though our stories are not the same necessarily, there's these threads that connect us together. And, you know, you don't not to like do the whole like women and men are separate and different. But you don't hear a lot of. And connecting on that level. And I think that's what you hasn't I've had this conversation where he's like, well, why are you calling?

 

And girl means business. Like, why not? Why are you excluding men? I'm like. Because it's a different conversation in my opinion, when you open it up to both genders. There's a connection that women have that is a deeper connection. I feel like then you can always get when you are just talking straight business or you're just talking parenting. But when you talk about being a mom and when you talk about running a business as a mom, it's on a whole nother level.

 

I that I just think connects us in a way that is unlike any other connection. So I love that you're getting that out there. I love that you are sharing these women's stories and you're helping them to have a platform to get their information out there. What would you say has been. The biggest surprise you've found in your business. I know you mentioned like your very intentional with what you do, but obviously, you know, you can't always plan everything out.

 

So has there been anything within your podcast, the boutique or even the businesses that your mom and you run together like? What's been the biggest thing that you've kind of been like, oh, wow, I didn't see that part coming, good, bad, whatever that has arrived in your business. I think it's the intentional thinking. When I really started it, we started being intentional about our business and we don't realize I think it we it's employee.

 

You always think like, oh, OK, this is just how it's always gonna be in our business. And so when I kind of changed our mindset and realized, hey, we can develop this business to be whatever we want, it's we are the ones, you know, running it. They kind of like change the game of like, okay, you know, I'll be completely honest and I'll put this on the universe is that. I don't know if the boutique will always be a place where we have products for sale that we actually warehouse and sell.

 

I really thought about the idea of what if it was a marketplace and any mom out there that has a, you know, a Web site and they connected to us and we're the new Etsy. But here's the difference about us is that we want you to succeed. And so we're gonna give you all the business tools so we could partner with people like you that are, you know, providing marketing content and everything for photographers. And it becomes this giant hub of just it's not only a marketplace, but an educational marketplace as well.

 

Does that make sense? No, I love that. So it's really it's kind of like, okay, I'm the one dictating where this business is going. Yes, absolutely. Am I watching the consumers and my customers and our followers and everything? But it's also kind of interpreting what they want by what I'm able to give and serve and kind of, you know, allowing stuff to evolve. And so I never I always kind of have gotten narrowed.

 

I was like, oh, this is what we're doing. This is we're good at. Maybe it's it's the idea that, you know what, we're also called to evolve and go forward. And and we've seen lots of businesses throughout it. You know, they change throughout time. I mean, a good example is Academy Sports outdoors. It started as a military surplus store. And look at it. And now it's a sporting goods store. I mean, yeah, sort of is the same, but it had to evolve to be what it is today.

 

And so. Just that idea that changed that minds that thing was a big, big change for me. Yeah. I think evolving is such a good thing to like it. It's easier when you're starting out to think, OK, this is what I want it to be. You have to be flexible and be willing to kind of roll with things that come your way as well. That, in fact, academy is a great example because I forget that they started off as something kind of different than what they're doing now.

 

So what? It's I think it's easy to for people to look at you and think, OK, she's super successful. She's got these four businesses, she's got this podcast, she's got all these things going vb.. What have been some of the struggles that ya face, whether it was in, you know, working with your mom or starting your own thing, what's been something that came up that was like, oh, I didn't expect that. What's been a struggle that you've had?

 

I never thought I would doubt myself. I've never been one that would doubt my abilities, put limitations on myself and I did in it. It can do a major mind game with you and he can set you up for failure in a bad sort of way. And so that's that kind of work. That's what happened here. I was I started you know, we've had these businesses going. It's going great. A launch, bumpier boutique, a launch mompreneurs tribe.

 

And then they hit the end of the year last year. And I put myself in a pretty bad mindset place of comparing myself to others that I should be further along in my journey. I've already built several other businesses as my mom. You know, we're doing great on that front. I should be further along. We should be, you know, running better profits. I'm not showing up enough. And then all they did is they set me up for not wanting to fully put myself out there and pull myself back in.

 

So. That there was a huge mind thing I never thought I'd be put in the place, which now than I've learned don't post around the universe because with it's show me over last few years is that I'll probably come back to teach me a lesson. And as much as I've hated having to come back out of this, you know, a negative mindset of comparing myself to others and everything. I always try and find gratitude in things and I'm like, you know it now that I can relate to another mom.

 

If they're going through that, instead of just being like, oh, OK, you know, showing empathy to them, now, I can really shown the compassion because I've been there and experienced that negative mindset and how spirally what it can do just to you, but also like me, how I can carry that negative mindset. And then it plays out in me being a mother, how it can play out in my marriage in just the effects that can have and also how it limits me in being successful my business.

 

And so that was something I never thought that I would put limitations on myself or think in that sort of way. And somehow I got into that place this past year and so I've had to work myself out of that hole. But there's power in that and that's it. But the other part, the gratitude thing is like I'm going to find the power and work myself out of that negative mindset. And I mean it up on top of this. Let's send it.

 

That's all. And thank you for sharing that because I know it's not always easy to share the things that are struggles, especially if it's something that is still a struggle. You know, it it's easy to hear stories or you're like, oh, I had this issue and I overcame it. Now are things great? But to hear someone say like this is something that I struggle with and I'm you know, when it's mindset, it's it's never really a done deal or always kind of fighting that.

 

Absolutely shit. You sharing that because in a lot of people listening are going to hear that and and resonate with that a lot. So I appreciate that. Yeah. I mean, and that was a big thing I like I've had a hard time like even getting that would be able to voice that because I mean here I was in a time that I'd spent I've read more self-help books in the past two years than I ever have in my life. I've listened to more motivational speakers.

 

My husband begged me for to for years because he's always loved that sort of stuff. And I was like, oh, it's not my cup of tea. I listen to more of that this past year. Really loved it, embraced it. But yet I still ended up in this spot. And so I think that's something, too, is that people are like, oh, I'm I'm doing, you know, life coaching and I'm doing this and that.

 

That doesn't mean that you're gonna be immune to getting into a negative mindset or comparing yourself. That doesn't mean that you're not going to struggle with that. You absolutely still could. But if I'm doing all the work, it seems almost sad. To be able to be like, I'm still in that spot or here I was doing all that and I hit that spot. There's just yeah, yeah. So I think there's something real and being like, hey, this is where I'm at and that I'm working through it.

 

I acknowledge it. Well, I appreciate you sharing that with us. Thank you so much. OK. So my last question for you is as if you had a friend who came to you and said, OK, I want to start a business. Here's my idea. What advice do you have? What would be your like? Number one, go to piece of advice you would give. I would tell them. First, I mean, like I'm such a I don't know, I can take someone's business and my girlfriend calls me all the time over to actually help her in her business.

 

And I think it's so much fun because I actually enjoy this a lot. I would love to one day be an. I'm sorry. All of a sudden I went Brain Blink, Shark Tank. I would love to be a jet. You might be going. I would love to be a judge on Shark Day. In my mind, just went blank out the door because I love analyzing. Business is in. Nine times out of ten. I can't.

 

My husband always loves pausing in the TV news. Like, what are they about to say in the deal? And I was like, well, you're about to do this. And I almost always can, right. He's like, how do you know that? I was like that. I just do. But I love, like, you know, the looking at other businesses and everything. But I truthfully, what I'd say is write down your why and write it down.

 

Like write it down and then cause you're going to need keep coming back to that and your why may evolve. But when you start comparing cause Eddie, I think that also goes back to when you start comparing yourself to others. Look at your. Why refocus on that. Because you don't need to compare yourself to others. You remember your why. Why you started this. That makes you unique for your business. And so you don't need to compare yourself to others.

 

And because I mean, compare yourself to others could be their journey, how their business looks, all that you're why it's not their way in. They just own the why of your business and write it down and just let it be engraved in your heart so that you just that's what you're fully are serving for your business. Is that why or what your goal and objective is? And so that to help you keep focused forward and keep you. You know, that's your motivation to cause you will hit road bumps.

 

But the truth matter is that you can figure it out. Everything's figure out all. I think that this bus thing, Marie Farley, you know, her book, Everything is figure out a goal. And thank goodness we live in a day of YouTube. I probably can learn more knowledge. My professors are probably cringing when they hear this. That I went to college with. I think I can probably learn more knowledge off of YouTube than I could in some of those classrooms.

 

And it's just it's a Great Dane age to start a business.

 

Yeah. I always say, like, if you are not if you're telling me you can't find the answers something, it's because you're choosing not to find the answer. It's out there. You just have to go find it. If you're willing to put in the work to figure it out, everything's figure out. I love that. Well, thank you so, so much for taking time out of your busy day to be here. I think, you know, just like in life, this conversation kind of went a little bit differently than I had originally planned for us to talk about.

 

But I think it was such great information. I think it's going to be something that a lot a lot of women can listen to and relate to and connect with. So thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story and all the things that you have been going on in your business. But thank you so much for sharing. So tell us where people can find you, how they can get in touch with you. Yeah, where where can they find you online?

 

So, of course, on the Graham Instagram, you can find me if you want to connect with me directly. You cannot miss Ashley Melva tarnow. But then also we have our boutique. It's called the Mompreneurs Boutique. But then also if you listen to my podcast, you can go to Mompreneurs Tribe. It's done all the major platforms. You can find it there. But also you can come to our Web site and it's the Mompreneurs boutique DexCom.

 

So between that, you can find me. And normally if you follow me personally, you'll be able to see all the different brands and things. Our store is called the Uber Shop. If you're wanting to visit a in Plano, we're in Plano, Texas. We've been here for the next month. We've been 13 years that we've been open. So while that date is dates me because I graduated college before that. But her story in Plano sells overstock goods.

 

So we work directly with big manufacturers, Macy's, Bloomingdale's, we buy their overstock. So we like to call ourselves like a boutique version of a T.J., Max or Ross because you get those same type of products at that sort of pricing. And we're a unique little gem in town. So that's that's where you can find me. And please do reach out to me. And because I love hearing feedback from other people that have found me through the podcast, everything.

 

If they found the content valuable to them. My story. Awesome. Well, thank you so much. And I'm going to link to all of those in the show notes so you can just click down below and go check out all of her Instagram account, online accounts, boutiques, listen to the podcast. Go make sure you subscribe because it's incredible. Lots of great stories on there. And so, again. Thank you so much for. Thanks for having me.

 

Thank you so much. And we'll talk to you again soon. Thanks.

 

As you just heard, Ashley is a super busy mom entreprenuer. So I really appreciate her taking the time to come and chat with us and share all of her wisdom and thoughts with us. It got me thinking that, you know, back in episode 34, I talked about the value and the importance of having a business BSF. And after this interview, I realized just how important that not only having a business B.F. affairs, but having mom, boss friends, other moms who get what it's like to have to balance it all.

 

Because while there's tons of mom friends that I have that are full time employees of other company. His or her stay at home moms. Sometimes you just need that friend who gets the struggle that we have of trying to do it all while working from home. And I have so honored they. Ashley, my friend. And now you all do, too. So thank you so much for tuning in again this week. I really appreciate your downloads. Your reviews, your subscribers, all of the things it means so much to me.

 

So I can't wait to see you again next week. Back here at the same time. Same place. Have a great week.

 

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